This is your president speaking
Yes, you heard me right
I want to launch some missiles
at President Assad tonight

Damn the consequences
Now just listen to me boys
What good is being president
If I can’t play with my toys?

I’m here in Mar-a-Lago
With my buddy President Xi
Watching the live news broadcast
On my huge widescreen TV

I love the way the missiles fly
and hit targets with a bang
I love it really bigly guys
Let’s launch another ten!

And when the media question
why we acted unilaterally
Let’s just tell the fake media
it was for national security

And at the White House briefing
Sean Spicer is my guy
He’ll say it was all Obama’s fault
Sean sure can spin a lie

And on the morning talk shows
Kellyanne Conway has my back
the media never ever challenge
her litany of alternative facts

So don’t be impatient guys
the best time will come soon
when I punch in those nuclear codes
and blow up Kim Jong-Un!