I had a crush on Mimi
But Mimi she crushed me
It took a team of doctors
to fix my busted knees

I loved her oh so dearly
and she loved me in return
but lap-sitting was so reckless
as she weighed a quarter ton

Her figure was so beguiling
I loved her dips and curves
But having her on my lap again
would have taken a lot of nerve

Yet love’s fire kept burning
we found a solution, of sorts
– It was much safer for my health
when I was the one on top!

So no more fear of epitaphs
that would reveal much too much
like “Here lies Don so flat
who was crushed by his crush!”